Yuck

Do you know how it feels to feel soo pathetic?
that whatever you do.. there will always be criticisms?
that no matter how hard you try to fit in...
there will always be rejection?

coz everyday... i feel that way..
that no matter what i do or say...
they'll always look down on me... or say something that i did wrong...
that even though i did something nice...
he'll always see something else...
that no matter what i show to them...
i'll always... have something bad

but how come he never looks at me and just show it in his eyes that he's really proud?
does it always have to be a medal? or a trophy or something?
why can't he just one day show it in his face that he is proud to be my father...why is it so hard for him to say... great job?
or that's good! without having something else come after that....
coz i'm sick and tired of him continously nagging behind my back... telling me how much more i have to do...

why can't he just shut up for once.. and look at me closely?
coz little does he know... i have more problems... and he's just one of them..