Big Girls Don't Cry

The smell of your skin lingers on me now....

When i found everything simpler I never thought of everything I was saying, singing. I would just hum to the melody of whispered nursery rhymes, crawl under the sheets and suck my thumb to fall asleep. Tug onto mommy's dress for my milk, cry my heart out when my ice cream falls. And bring out my puppy dog eyes for lollipop from daddy. As I stepped into the new classroom, I would always wipe away a tear and wish my mom was here to bring me. But now as my shoes evolve to another form every school year, the heels become higher every year. My bag becomes smaller and bulckier by the minute and a new haircut was snipped to each summer. Not once did I look back and cried out for mommy. As I looked at myself in the mirror I finally saw the years of childhood I skipped to. Being in a batch higher, having friends a year older, never made you think of that one year you've just skipped. Your age isn't balanced with your actions. Is that a good thing? Or bad? Is it something I'll regret? Or not? But now I know I could always go back to the little girl I used to be as I snuck into my parents room when a thunder woke me up. The little girl who would always make cards just coz daddy came home safe. That one little girl who always cried to daddy just coz someone punched my nose. Or that little girl who would always sit infron of mommy's dresser asking her to brush her hair and put clips and ribbons on her hair. That little girl who got the attention and held on til now. Are you the same little girl? whispered lips would always ask as you brush your own hair, punch back that guy who punched you. Scream at the bitches who made your life miserable.

A single tear drop never fell on your cheek coz the constant reminder on your head would always tell you how big you are now. No need to cry. But really, a little crying will help and a hug from your parents will make you fell better. And a lollipop from dad, might just do the trick. Coz even though your stuffed koala bear fell on the ground and your crying just won't stop, you're daddy's there to pick you up and by you a lollipop and mommy's there to pick up your koala bear and give it back to you. But now that you've grown. Now that you're a big girl, if your stuffed koala falls, you choose not to pick it up, you just buy your own lollipop and walk away. Let another girl get your stuffed koala, coz you know when to let go and when to walk away. This time's just the wrong time. And you just didn't know it.