My reply.

Stop.
































that's all i have to say.

Slother house

The piglet and the calf grew up together, having the same farm to live in, they grew up having each other as bestfriends. As the piglet and calf grew up a lot changed. They were fed with more food, they were bigger than before. The people in the farm started to refer to them as cow and pig. They couldn't fit the small hiding places they used to hide in. In fact, they're starting to run out of energy to run around. A day came, when their parents were gone. No where to be found. Both went around yelling and shouting, wondering where they could be. The wise old horse neighed as the pig and cow passed by. "Do you know where our parents are?" asked the pig. "Yes, i do. But don't you?" answered the horse. "No. Tell us. Where are they?" said the cow. "Have your parents not taught you anything? Their in the truck on their way to the market." answered the horse, knowing what the next question would be. "What's a market?" both asked. The horse rolled his eyes, hearing the expected questions. "Boys, you should settle down and listen to me."

"Every piglet that grows up in this farm will be fed and sold later on, every calf as well. You see, the people need food to eat, in order for them to survive. And without us animals, they'd starve. And so the farmers are given the job and responsibility to raise good pig and cow for them to sell to the market. The market will then, kill the animals for the people to buy and eat at home."

"And that's where your parents are right now. On their way to the market." finished the horse. By that time, the cow and the pig were in shock. Surprised and hurt, they shouted... "We don't believe you!" and ran out of the barn and into their new secret hiding place. They both cried, not knowing what to say. When finally, the cow spoke up, "What if the horse isn't right? What if the truck will bring them somewhere, us, somwhere else. Somwhere nice?". "I hope so. I mean, how should he know? He won't be food later on!" answered the pig.

"Yeah, maybe the truck brings them to a meadow or something where we can all live happily together!"

But months after that, the cow and the pig were both placed in the same truck. Both had wide smiles on, but a heart that was beating too fast. It was the day they were gonna find out who was right, them or the horse.

And of course, the horse was.

Published Non Sense.

Take my hand and when you wonder off, don't let go.
Wipe my tear when I'm all alone.
With each tear drop converging into one, see my reflection of denial and confusion.
Broken smiles and broken eyes.
Thoughts of never understanding what went through.
Mindless whispers of great I love yous.
And the thought of I miss yous bringing back tears.
Not for the same reason we all used to know.
Not for someone we all once knew.
Saving each careless whispers and the careless smiles.
The dodged glances and giggly laughs.
Maybe when I get the chance, you'd get it back.
Those hand held wishes we through back once.
The memories left within and the unwinding spirits.
The childhood days we want to live through again.
The trips and falls all connotatively now.
Figuratively speaking, falling for you now.
Not as fast and not as slow. Just between so now you know.
I'm stuck in the middle and the coverged tears.
I'm not sure which one to see.
One I feel happy with.
One I melt for.
Or maybe just none at all.

So called Inspiration.

The tear drop in her eyes. The cold walks in the night. The straight faced and meaningless glances. Those looks and those smiles. Maybe it would work. Maybe not. Maybe it's confusion or maybe it's nothing. When you stop making sense, you should just stop writing. And yet you continue. Coz senseless things hold on to deeper meanings. And when you begin to wonder, what hearts are made of, you begin to ask. What are stars made of? Gas? or wishes?

When you wish upon a star at this age, you tell yourself, you're way too old for it. Then you dream of Peter Pan coming and making you fly. Only, you have to look for Peter Pan yourself, in reality that is. Not someone dressed as him in a costume party and not someone who tries to act like him. But someone who makes you feel that it's him. When you watch outside your window, with the moist and tears of the sky. You step out, barefoot with your white cotton dress. You discover that the thoughts in your mind meant more than what you think it should. And when you see that, you don't know what to do. When you believe in nothing else but finding the pixie dust, your escape from the world or reality. The step into denial and taking a walk, way longer than expected. When you start thinking of what to say when he asks you certain questions. When you dodge off glances from one to another, and when you smile just coz he looked. What about when he makes you laugh without even trying? Or when he makes you happy when you're sad. Or when he just makes you feel warm and comfortable compared to any other guy you knew. Maybe when you close your eyes, you tell yourself never to wake up again, because for now, reality ain't better than the ones created by you. In a stage of denial and running away, when you feel like no one else would understand or there won't be any friend that would nodd with you, you walk and talk to yourself. Coz when you don't make sense, it's you who understands. When your eyes tend to close out of nowhere, it's when you know, something's wrong.

Do I miss him? I dunno. Did I miss you? I dunno.

Answers to questions a heart has, its hard to breathe and its hard to think. Coz questions like these need a reflex answer. And right now, my reflex are off duty.

Write.

Whispers of words and silent glances. The wanted stares and batting of lashes. The flirtacious grin and the want of stares. Handing out hand held moments and the unspoken words. The unheard of moments and loud smiles. The wanted warmth from the chill of the night, hopeful hearts wishing on every star in the night sky. But as the night comes as the dried up tears moved on from one eye to another. Let the silly little girl play with her dolls for as long as wants, but now that she let go and let it collect dust, it's time for me to pick it up, clean it and treat it right. If the silly girl gets mad, a tantrum will never get it back. Here's one wish upon a star longed for, and it's getting nearer every step of the way and night. Blink. Wink. Blush. Smile. Wish. Hush. Blow. A. Kiss. Mwah.

Scared. Fear. Bravery

Maybe when she feels like she wants to be murdered, it shows us that she wants to disappear. Maybe when she wants to finally just crash, she just wants to be dramatically taken away. And when she starts starving herself, maybe she just wants to feel comfortable about herself. And when she does, don't you think you should be happy for her? Coz it means that she's doing something to make herself feel better? But when she starts to stare at the floor or at nothing that's when you know there's something wrong. And when she starts to walk like a zombie and act like she doesn't exist, that's when you know she wants to not exist. And when she walks like her world's spinning around, that's when you know she's thinking of the world upside down. Because if everything's upside down, it only means that the past is present and the present never happened and will never happen. But you know that's impossible. And what you know right now doesn't matter to her because when she closes her eyes and when she just sits there and stares, that's when you know she doesn't exist in reality. Because she's one of those people that wishes she could tell them to close their eyes when she passes by just coz she doesn't wanna be seen and she doesn't wanna see them. She's that sort of girl that wishes she was never here because she doesn't know where to go when she's taken away. She's someone who doesn't feel safe.

Just so you know

Fingertips are holding on to the words I left unspoken. This girl doesn't know whatelse to do other than sulk and feel all depressed. A bloated stomach and the emptiness of it all, makes her feel like there's no one out there that could possibly help her right now. Maybe she won't talk tomorrow. As everything left inside was left on her fingertips. The confused and puzzled up lies she told herself. The feel of the warmth against the chill behind her hair. The old crap she used to believe and tell herself. Whenever you tell yourself that everything's gonna be ok,does it help? Whenever you wake up every morning to start a new day, does it feel right that you don't have the same person to talk to. How come everything now doesn't matter? Let me face the fear of closing my eyes at night and let myself dream whatever there is left to dream. So when she cries without tears, you know you don't have anything left to say to her but the question "are you ok?" and "what's wrong?" that's when she answers.. "i'm fine." But everyone knows she's not if she cries without tears. Hug? Hug.

See me as the tears start to fall out

See, as the wish upon a star gets too old? Its when you start to lose the tears to cry for that you know you're officially crazy. Its when you start to wish for more wishes and then wish for more when you don't get that one thing yet that people start to think so too. It's when you start to waste your time thinking about what could've beens instead of the present that you know you miss him. Its when you start to lie to yourself about what you feel that you know you're going way too far. Its when you start to starve that you begin to think that you're empty inside. Its when you start to tell yourself to stop missing him that you know you can move on. One more wish left upon a star for just you and nothing more. We'll see if you come back or not, and if you don't then wishes will never be the same again. So every night i'd be staring at the night sky searching for answers if you were to come or not. But if you never will then I'd have to learn and if you will...

shallow

When you think you feel like you left something behind and then you lie to yourself that you have everything you need. That even though the person you miss isn't there for you anymore you keep telling yourself that you don't need him. but then the people around you asks you "are you ok?" and then you answer no. That's when you know you really are in deep shit. but then something pulls you out and then you realize it was you all along. you know? you're that one thing you need. shallow shit.

When you think you feel like you left something behind and then you lie to yourself that you have everything you need. That even though the person you miss isn't there for you anymore you keep telling yourself that you don't need him. but then the people around you asks you "are you ok?" and then you answer no. That's when you know you really are in deep shit. but then something pulls you out and then you realize it was you all along. you know? you're that one thing you need. shallow shit.